I Tried a Window-Cleaning Robot: Do Not Recommend

OK, so window-cleaning robots cannot deal with traditional windows. I know textured glass interferes with the suction and, predictably, handles and fixtures interfere with the movement, but it also struggles with astragals that aren’t thick or solid enough. I wouldn’t risk using it with any that aren’t finished in hard plastic or something else durable.

I figured I’d give it one last chance on the upstairs bay window, as it’s a PVC replacement that was put in before we moved in, so it has thicker astragals finished in hard plastic. Using it one story up gave me serious anxiety. After an alarming five minutes or so of watching it loudly and squeakily navigate the window, it began to sound an alarm and flash a red light, with a stern voice informing me it was stuck and I should check the app for solutions. Where was it stuck? You guessed it, right at the top of the window where I had no hope of reaching it.

I’m not ashamed to say I panicked. I worried that if it suddenly fell, it would potentially smash into the window downstairs. The charging case does act as a counterweight; other window-cleaning bots have tethers to attach to furniture. There’s also a button to retract the cord and cut the slack, but there’s still potential for damage if it falls. I tried to lean out of my window, while it loudly alerted, to see if I could reach the release button. No joy.

By this time, a couple of passersby had stopped to watch. I tried to pull it in using the cable, but it wouldn't budge. Eventually, I figured out I could lower the top pane just enough to reach it. But pressing and holding the button to power down the suction, while hanging out my window and holding the strap, felt downright dangerous. My heart was pounding in my ears by the time it finally released. I got it inside and back into its case, where it will remain until I return it.

The Ugly

Reflecting on this sorry saga, I can't help feeling, even without my mishaps, which may be partly down to user stupidity and bad luck, that window-cleaning robots are just a massive waste of time.

They're way too much work to use. Time-wise, I could clean the windows far faster and do a better job with less stress. By the time you’ve set up a window-cleaning robot and stuck it on the window, you could have cleaned it yourself. You have to babysit the damn thing and then detach it and move it to the next window. Even if you get to a point of trusting it, you’ll have to return every five to 10 minutes. It can’t deal with window handles, fittings, or certain astragals, and windows must be at least 12 by 16 inches, but realistically larger, for it to be worth using. It always leaves dirt in the corners and cannot remove stubborn stains like bird droppings.